If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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