I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
