i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
