honey bunches of taint.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
