Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
