it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
