The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
