The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
They took my balls.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
