She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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