Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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