Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Shame is for Republicans.
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