ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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