i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
