Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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