After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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