sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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