I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
