He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
my poor anus
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
