I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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