sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
