pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
