sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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