So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
