Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
