good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize