um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
