My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
