Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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