You're completely useless in the revolution.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize