She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
