You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish I only lived at night.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
we're so committed to being not committed
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize