Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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