The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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