I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
