is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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