So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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