so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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