worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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