put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
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Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
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Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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