no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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