the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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