: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
