He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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