The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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