Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
