did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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