Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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