Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize