Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
