is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
