Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Its about making memories worth repressing
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
