at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize