I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
PANTIES FOUND
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
