i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize